Girls and Boys, Slut and Junkie

It doesn’t look like Tori Amos is going to be making the type of songs she used to make. Sarah McLachlan looks happy lately which doesn’t bode well for those who yearn for the angsty Sarah of old. Regina Spektor and Ingrid Michaelson fill the void for the meantime and Ingrid Michaelson in particular fills the Sarah void with the singer-songwriter sincerity that’s been missing from pop lately. I’d buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair is one of the sweetest things I ever heard in a song because you can tell it’s an actual situation where she’s getting that and it’s a sentiment close to me because some of my hair is falling. The feeling I get from her Girls and Boys is the same feeling I had when I first heard Surfacing and Candy-coated Waterdrops by Plumb. This instantly goes to my list of if Emergency Albums to Listen to If I Had One Day to Live.

For the last few days, I allowed myself to get harassed by Christina Aguilera’s Bionic which is quite the epic failure. Because it’s out there begging to be appreciated for its artistry, I permitted it to assault me with its sexiness. For lack of prominent things to download, I did Bionic and what an assault to the senses that was. What it does best, if anything, is it makes you appreciate all the musicians you used to take for granted, ie Madonna, who she apes in a song called Glam, a song that wishes it were Vogue. That and much more. Bionic is such an embarrassing thing to listen to. Pussy songs and baby songs sit side by side each other. I wish I’m just trying to sound clever but it really is an awkward thing to slog through. Christina thinks no one has ever heard of Santogold so she does her and thinks no one will notice. It’s such a shame because I had high hopes for her! Burlesque the movie is one of my most anticipated things this year and I’m hoping it turns out really bad/good but more bad. I hope Christina skanks it up to unprecedented heights in that movie.

Alanis Morrisette’s The Couch could be a movie. In the same way that Aimee Mann’s songs were turned into Magnolia. The Couch would be about a dysfunctional family that spans generations of therapist-seeing children and parents, set in a mood that is as haunting and as colorful as the song’s mood and tone. I really can’t tell mood apart from tone and it is for albums such as this that makes me wish I know how else to say How Gorgeous. Alanis herself can star in it, maybe play the role of the therapist or whoever. Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie could be a musical even. It would of course be a high art, high concept type of musical that would be beautifully worded and sung and people wouldn’t mind the artiness of it because it would be meticulously crafted just like its source album which is one of the bestest things I ever heard ever.