Blogs I tried

Tumblr – I really did try to sustain it even though I really didn’t. I didn’t know what kind of life my ill-fated Tumblr had to take when I made it. Only thing that’s certain right now is that it’s lifeless. If posting an Instagram picture of sheer nonsense, of sheer uninterestingness once every month is considered trying, consider me tried the fuck out. I would love to really sustain it but it’s just not my personality. My personality is really WordPress, the kind that demands long, thoughtful drafts of things you think need some kind of length. It’s the kind of personality that thinks proper punctuation is something to care about when talking about drinking problems, Mariah Carey and Chris Martinez. Maybe MC and CM really do demand proper thoughts construction but in a Tumblr, those things don’t matter much because words should be in fonts that are more interesting than the words themselves, and in frames that will look gorgeous for when they get reposted in Facebook. Also a serious problem is my deteriorating desire to post pictures which is why I hardly think of getting a new camera with 79 megapixels which if megapixel-count is to be trusted, could turn the most rabid picturetaking hater to be the most picture-posty person in your socials. Actually I’m just ‘economically-challenged as hell’ and maybe Tumblr is not right for me and I accept it wholeheartedly.

Livejournal – The typing space in Livejournal is, for some reason, quite welcoming and by far the easiest platform to type into. I don’t know what craziness I’m talking about, ‘quite welcoming typing space’ but it truly feels okay in a Livejournal journal to just type and not care so much about paragraph lengths and things. It does feel like a journal that you can just shit into. If you really need to get a bit of sense of what I’m beginning to realize is stupid nonsense, make a Livejournal of your own, type lame shit, and congratulate yourself for creating one in an age when social networks are the grand kings. You have just out-hipstered anyone in the online world who ever thought to blog and engage in a form of social network. Sorry for mentioning hipster for I never wish to touch upon that subject for there’s very little in my being that appreciates or understands the entirety of a hipster’s being.

Blogger – I have bad memories with this blog mainly because of my own stupidity, but one never forgets his first time, does he? No, he does not. Therefore, Blogger for me is like the first sex. I can choose to be gross and discuss why but I choose not.   Nevertheless, it is through Blogger that I met some of the most interesting people I will ever meet. The compulsion to meet social media friends is not as strong as it once was with Blogger. I think that era, for me, is over.

WordPress – Initially I hated the idea of a like button for WordPress because those likes could have been comments. But WP feels differently, and what it feels is that it has to be with the times and participate in the perpetuation of this habit of liking things, which can be a relief considering how much Internet reading we have to get through in a day. In short, I’m at peace with it. WP now has a follow feature like in Tumblr and anywhere else. I think that out of most blogs out there in the market today WordPress is the most personality-challenged. It’s totally me.

Sometimes I feel like the world benefits from my not saying anything anywhere.

But life should consist of consistently trying and trying even harder!

That you should try and try until you die. Like this right here.

Guilty as Charged!

If you’ve spent any time trolling the blogosphere, you’ve probably noticed a peculiar literary trend: the pervasive habit of writers inexplicably placing exclamation points at the end of otherwise unremarkable sentences. Sort of like this! This is done to suggest an ironic detachment from the writing of an expository sentence! It’s supposed to signify that the writer is self-aware! And this is idiotic. It’s the saddest kind of failure.

-Chuck Klosterman, Eating the Dinosaur

The Chronicles of E

The Chronicles of E is one of the most exhilarating and nastiest reading experiences I’ve ever had. E’ minces no words: he’s offensive and he’s a whore. He may be a whore but he’s merciful enough to warn you that ‘there will be a lot of things that may disturb you…’ since he’s ‘not a good person yet’. Such warning invites snark but one will soon find out that such warning is, to some extent, warranted. He is as abrasive as industrial grade sandpaper and the numerous platitudes about how He’s Going to Live a New Life is grating to the point of insincerity, but E has things to say. Whether they need saying in the lewdest language he can afford is another thing.

Culled from a series of blog posts about his bout with drugs and prostitution, E is a dizzying trip into a self-professed recovering addict’s diary of hate and hope. More than the drugs and the prostituting, however, it’s this writer’s path towards finding out his HIV status that gives his ‘chronicles’ a spattering of gravitas. A gay guy’s discovery of his HIV status is not unprecedented in these times. Finding out and blogging about it while a handful of followers await, is.

Having been derived from his blog, the entries are mostly random and raw, with E himself admitting to being high while creating the posts/chapters. Think Jim Carroll, Basketball Diaries, only much more abrasive. The trick is to look past the language and into the message. Actually, it’s less a trick than a necessity, but just as there are a lot of self-absorbed (what else) and endless introspection about his status in his often shrill mode of expression, there are also flashes of touching scenarios, such as when E tells a Quiapo fortune-teller who offers to tell him his future, ‘Alam ko na po, Inay.’

My encounter with E is not as casual as I would have preferred. There had to be a degree of involvement that would not allow me to just toss off his often petty and nasty complaints about everything, should I find it too much. I had to read E in all its gritty glory and what a book it is. What a person! Some might scoff at the warning that what the enterprising reader is about to read might ‘disturb’, to say nothing of the Parental Advisory label that appears on the cover and yet there they are, the warnings, daring you to be snarky. But you get the sense that E doesn’t care for your snarky shit (as he himself would perhaps put it). E is indifference-proof.

E is not easy to read and it’s for reasons that have to do with taste than with principles. Not to disparage blog writing but I don’t think that anyone actively chooses to read a blog-derived book expecting a literary sensation although those exist too. E, being a blogger, is understandably generous on the me me me that typifies blog writing. And if you decide to read E, you will either hate it so much or be the exact type of reader for which the parental advisory sticker is for who will end up hating it, offended, and/or educated by it. Either way, you will feel something. Mine was a combination of a kick in the shin and a scream in the face. If anything, you have E to thank for coming up with a handy gay guy’s guide on How Not to Live Your Life. In a way, it is superior to feel-good, self-help books that preaches about what to do. Books like Chronicles of E, though unwittingly, demonstrates why you should or shouldn’t do or say certain things.